Rants & Ravings

Back in the early 80s, a rule was lifted that allowed for certain form of advertisements to be in the form of programmes. This led to the TV revolution which I like to call 80's cartoon shows. Yes, all the cartoons that we loved back in the 80's were actually thinly veiled advertisements meant to sell products. Of course parent groups were really really upset, but in the end, nothing really changed.

Anyway, there's an article running in both Straits Times and the Today papers today which is something like that. Basically it's an article on how Starhub is adding an extra set of channels to their existing basic tier to give their customers more value for their money at only a slight increase. Of course, there was the obligatory interview with 1 subscriber who will naturally say that it's a good move. But let's examine the new package in greater detail here (something which the newspapers should have done, if it wasn't a thinly veiled advertisement being disguised as an article.)

Currently, if I'm not wrong, I'm subscribing to 3 basic groups. That comes to $25.68 with GST. (I won't count the 2 movie channels because they don't seem to be affected). Anyway, now Starhub's brilliant new plan (which is supposed to be good for customers) is to offer Basic Upsize tiers. Here's where the maths breaks down. One of the tiers offer Animax, Fox Crime, AXN beyond and 3 more channels. For $5.35. That's quite dumb. I'm currently getting Animax, Fox Crime and 2 channels from another package with my existing package for $25.68. In fact I've been getting them for about 3 years now. And now, in their attempt to give value, they're going to charge me more for less?

Are there any monkeys or primates missing from the Mandai Zoo? Cause it seems they escaped and are now working for the Starhub marketing department.

Labels: annoyed

Almost every company uses computers in its daily affairs. And if the company is big enough, it will have IT support. IT Support is basically the people you call when you have any IT related problem. From the computer not being able to turn on (Is it plugged in? Is it on?) to more serious stuff like hard disk failure and what not. IT people are viewed as almost godlike.. being able to solve any problem and all. But here's the thing... it's all a myth. Most of the time, they don't really know what is going on. They have this list of instructions to follow. Anything out of the norm (or the book) they won't be able to solve it. All IT support seems to work like that.

The reason for this post is partly cause I have a colleague whose computer has been dead since last Friday I think. And up till today it's still dead. Support was supposed to re-install the software but they even botched up something as simple as that. So, people, most of the time, IT support knows as much as you. So you should just try fixing the problem yourself. Remember, google is your friend..

Labels: food for thought

Just heard over the radio about Mas Selamat. Does anyone still remember him? You know, the guy who had a series of very fortunate events. Since the media hasn't really mentioned him at all these few weeks and even theonlinecitizen has removed it's Mas Selamat countdown timer as well, I'm guessing the people have indeed "moved on". The power of the press indeed.

Anyway, just something that made me laugh out loud during the news broadcast over the radio. MP Lily Neo asked Wong Kan Seng on the status of Mas, and Mr Wong said that they had no reason to believe he was not in the country because foreign intelligence have not reported him landing on their shores. What laughable logic... by that reasoning, he isn't in Singapore as well, since.. our local intelligence haven't been able to find any sign of him at all. Maybe he got in a space shuttle after he got out of the toilet and is now off planet. Maybe on Mars. Why don't people ever ask the correct questions? Silly silly people...

Update: This is an excerpt from WKS's speech.
"I accepted the COI’s assessment that the ISD OIC is not at fault. Nevertheless, I decided to relieve this Command Director of the ISD OIC appointment. This was done on 24 Apr 2008. Even though he was not responsible for the lapses of specific officers down the line, he bears responsibility on account of his statutory appointment as Officer-in-Charge of WRDC. "

One could possibly say that.. the same applies for some other people higher up on the food chain.. but then.. that's just me.. This has shades of the parable of the Unmerciful Servant...

Labels: current affairs, mas selamat

Was reading the news summary at work and came across this article about the current batch of students and the choices they were making with regards to their university choices. And majority of them want to choose Business related courses because they believe it will make them rich. It doesn't help that the newspaper frequently highlights the amount that people make in the banking and finance industry. That is true. But what they also fail to report is that not everyone earns that much. Also the recent SMU article about how much fresh grads were getting as their starting pay also doesn't help.

People need to know that not everyone earns that much. Only the best of the best (same as every other field). Also the responses in the papers from the students show a very worrying trend in the youths. One in particular. This girl responded that she intends to go into Business because it will allow her to do banking which is the only job that will allow her to earn $7k a month. She has calculated that she'll need $7k a month to survive. Seriously... someone needs to smack some sense into her.

Labels: education

Inbreeding results in genetic defects. This is a fact. But if X-files and issues of Hellblazer comics are to be believed, inbreeding still takes place in this day and age. The reason given in both sources above is the same. To maintain some form of genetic purity. Anyway the reason for this blog post isn't so much about inbreeding, I was just using it as a lead-in to royalty (which adopts the practice of inbreeding). Even then, I'm not talking about real royalty. Just people who think that they are "princes" or "princesses".

There are lots of blogs of people calling themselves such. It's... hilarious because they are almost bimbos/himbos. It's as if, once you decide to call yourself a "prince" or "princess", your IQ drops to room temperature. A recent scandal as it were broke out on the interweb recently. This guy had a blog where he occasionally posts racists stuff. This was found and publicised and a police report was made even. Currently, the offensive blog post has been removed and his blog has been made private. But too late, being a typical himbo, his blog had his face plastered all over.. I don't really feel sympathy for him because he comes across as a moron anyway.

Guess it's just a consequence of inbreeding.

Labels: current affairs

Labels: humour

“Now take any card from the deck, look at it, put the card back on top, shuffle the deck and return it to me. I shall attempt to locate your card.” Keith flourished the deck of cards in front of his classmates. He had learnt this trick online as a means of making friends because he found it difficult to make friends and he had read an article about how magic tricks were really good ice-breakers. He passed the deck of cards to Kate. He had been trying to work up the courage to talk to her and hoped that this trick would impress her and help him to start up a conversation with her.
“Ok, here you go. Shuffle the deck as much as you want.”
Kate gave him a smile as she took the deck from him. Keith felt his heart jump a little but didn’t show it (or he hoped he didn’t show it). She shuffled the deck a few times and passed it back to Keith.
Keith thanked her and began counting out loud from 1 to 5 and shuffling the deck. He then tapped the top of the deck and showed the top card to Kate.
“Is this your card?”
“Um… no it’s not.”
“You sure?”
“Quite. Did I do something wrong?” Kate asked apologetically.
“No you didn’t Kate. It’s just a lame trick,” Brian took the deck of cards from Keith and threw it on the ground, “You suck Keith. Thanks for wasting our time. Come on let’s go.”
Damn it! Why didn’t the trick work? It worked when I was trying it out in front of the mirror. And of all times for the trick to fail. Right in front of Kate. She must think I’m a joke. And that Brian… argh! What a jerk…
Keith hung his head in disappointment and walked towards the bus stop. Hmm, looks like it’s going to rain. Just great. Just the perfect way to top off this absolutely crappy day. At least there’s no one at the bus stop. Hope the bus comes before something else goes wrong…
“Excuse me, but does the bus service 254 come by here?”
“CAN’T YOU SEE THE BOARD FOR YOURSELF?! WHAT ARE YOU BLI…,” Keith looked up and saw a blind man.
“As a matter of fact, I am.” He sat down on the seat beside Keith.
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just had a really bad day. Anyway yeah, that bus comes here. In fact, I’m also waiting for it. I’ll let you know when it comes.” Keith’s face started to turn red.
“It’s ok. We all have those days. Why I’ve had a couple of those in my day. So what’s it? Girl trouble?”
“What? No… not really anyway. Anyway, I don’t think I feel comfortable talking to a complete stranger about it.”
“Hmm ok… but I actually find talking to complete strangers very helpful. For one, it doesn’t matter what you tell them or whether or not they judge you, because you’ll almost never see them again.” He pulled out a handkerchief and started to wipe his face.
“You have a point there I guess… Well, it’s complicated. Long story short, I’m new here, having difficulty making friends, thought that learning magic would help, wanted to impress a girl.”
“Ah… you’re right, it is complicated and I was right too… there’s a girl involved. Like they say: There’s always a girl involved. Anyway I can’t really help you with that. Never really been successful in that area. But I can tell you thing or two about magic. I used to know a trick or two when I was younger. I still know a few tricks.”
Keith stared at the blind man with a puzzled look on his face.
“I know I know. You’re wondering how a blind man like me knows magic tricks. But I wasn’t always blind. So what trick was it?”
“It’s the one where the chosen card appears at the same spot no matter how many times you shuffle.”
“Oh, a card trick. That’s not magic. Card tricks are just sleight of hands and oddly enough a lot of maths. Here, pass me the cards.” The man stretch out his hand, palm facing upwards.
Keith took the pack of cards out from his bag pocket and passed it to the man. He emptied the packet into his palm, and began shuffling the cards. He displayed a kind of deftness with the cards, something a seasoned card player would do. Then he fanned out the cards, picture side facing Keith and said, “Pick a card. I’m quite rusty, but I think I know which trick you’re talking about.”
Keith took a card from the right. Queen of hearts, how ironic.
“Now do the usual, look at the card, memorise it blah blah blah…”
Keith returned the card to the deck and took the deck from the blind man. He shuffled the deck and handed it back to the blind man. He did the counting and shuffling like Keith did earlier on. But instead of drawing a card, he throws the entire deck of cards upwards and grabs a card.
“Is this your card?”
“Ah no… that’s the Ace of Spades.” Keith rolled his eyes. This guy was a kook after all.
“You sure? You’re not lying to me right? It’s not nice to lie to a blind guy, karma and all…”
“Quite sure. Now if you’d excuse me, I need to pick up the cards before they get destroyed by the rain.”
“Wait wait….,” He stretched his arm past Keith’s shoulders and produced another card, “here’s the problem, you wear your heart on your sleeve.” And in his hand was the Queen of Hearts. “Sorry, like I said, I’m a bit rusty, I haven’t done that trick in ages.”
“That’s incredible. How’d you do that?” Keith was now mesmerized by this blind man’s skills.
“Told you, these are just tricks. All in the wrists. It’s not real magic.”
“What’d you mean real magic? You mean like Harry Potter?”
“Well, something like that, but a lot more powerful and minus the magic wand. You don’t need a magic wand for magic. You need the correct incantations and a sacrifice. The sacrifice is very important. Do you know why?”
“Uh… no?”
“A sacrifice evokes emotions. Emotions are powerful forces. The stronger the emotion, the more powerful the force. More powerful forces can power more powerful incantations. For example, sacrificing a chicken may be enough to maybe levitate a rock. Think of incantations as like a vehicle and the sacrifice is the fuel. There are also limitations. There are some things that magic cannot do. Like bring the dead back to life, not the same as zombies, zombies are something else altogether. But there are also smaller spells that don’t require sacrifices, just the emotion of the caster will suffice.”
“Hmm, that’s interesting, but… how do you know all this? How do I know this isn’t just something you made up?”
“Well Keith, I like you. You remind me of an old friend of mine. So let me tell you a story: Long time ago, there was a man who was obsessed with magic. He would spend all his free time reading and memorizing incantations. He would wake up early every morning to hone his abilities. He became very powerful. But like all powerful people, he became too full of himself, believing that he was God. And he wanted to create the ultimate spell, to bring the dead back to life. He failed and as a result of that, he lost his sight.”
“Wow, that’s you isn’t it? That’s how you lost your sight?” Keith couldn’t contain his excitement. Somehow he just knew that this person was telling him the truth.
“Yes, but that’s not the reason why I told you the story.”
“What’s the reason then?”
“Hmm, good question. I guess I just wanted to tell that story. Haven’t told that one in a while. Always brings a tear to my eyes. Anyway, I’ll leave you with these parting words: Just keep working on your card tricks. Comes with practice. As for the girl Kate, yes I know her name also, if you really like her, go for it, but don’t be too disappointed if it doesn’t work out.”
“Thanks ah… I never did get your name.”
“I never gave it. Anyway your bus is here and I need to meet an old friend for tea. Bye.” And he was gone.
I never did see the blind man again. Nor did it ever work out with Kate and I. I did try to pursue her like he said, but I guess I fell short. Took me awhile to get over it, but then others came along. I would like to think that Brian went to jail for some crime or what not, but he's actually running a fairly successful business and married with 2 and a half kids the last time I heard. Oddly enough, magic or tricks as he would call them became something that I became quite proficient at. Today I’m performing 3 nights a week at Vegas. Not bad for a person who could never pull off a simple card trick.

Writers note: This is actually a very rushed story. Just sat down in front of the computer and started banging away at the keys writing. Didn’t really know where the story was going till half way through writing it where it seemed to take a life and direction of it’s own. Funny thing though, strong emotions may be good for casting spells, but they’re also good for coming up with stories.

Labels: story

Labels: bacon, humour

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

----------EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

----------MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

----------BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

----------ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

----------CATS

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

----------FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

----------SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

----------MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

----------DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

----------NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

----------OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

----------THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Labels: humour

Came across a thread on a forum which made me nostalgic for fast foods that Singapore used to have, but not anymore.


First up is A&W:




Now everybody knows their root beer floats. And the equally famous root beer mugs




Not too sure about the waffles. Don't really remember them.




Ah... the coney dog with chopped onions and sauce..




Curly Fries.
Next is a fairly obscure one. Texas Fried Chicken. There used to be an outlet in Marina Square. They were famous for their fried chicken and corn on cob. Not sure if this pic is the same one as from back then.

Labels: Food

Labels: humour